From our childhood, we acquire knowledge about love through stories, films and melodies that reinforce the notion that romantic love is the core of life and that without it we are incomplete. However, this perspective has maintained harmful myths that impact men and women, leading to unhealthy relationships and unrealistic expectations.
Myths of love and their impact on men
Feminist literature has studied the impact of love myths on women in detail, but what about men? The idea that the human being must be the defender, the provider and the dominator causes relentless pressure. This often results in dynamics of emotional dependency and problems in expressing vulnerability.
One of the most frequent myths is that of the ‘better half’, which proposes that each individual possesses a single partner designed to complete him or her. Not only does it reinforce the notion that men need to find someone to give meaning to their lives, but it also leads to frustration when relationships do not meet those expectations. Another popular belief is that ‘love can do anything’, which leads many men to endure damaging relationships or to think that their role is to ‘rescue’ the other person, even if it means sacrificing their emotional health.
Rethinking love through healthy masculinity
In the Emotional Respectful Men (ERM) project, we have worked with young people to identify these myths and forge a freer and fairer perspective on love. In our seminars, many participants have reported that they experience pressure to be their partner’s emotional support, which hinders them from being able to share their own frailties or ask for assistance when they need it.
To dismantle these myths, it is crucial to educate men that love should not be based on dependency, but on building healthy relationships where each can develop individually. Promoting emotional intelligence and transparent dialogue are fundamental to this change.
Love is an essential component of life, but it should not be established by strict ideals that restrict our ability to enjoy it in a healthy way. Examining beliefs about romantic love does not mean denying love, but learning to establish relationships based on respect, independence and mutual well-being.
At ERM, we persist in the search for a new way of experiencing masculinity and relationships, moving away from the stereotypes that restrict us.
